Happy Halloween!

The dogs of Winter Park take Halloween very seriously. Thank you, crazy Halloween puppies. You endured some uncomfortable (and often embarrassing) costumes for the enjoyment of humans everywhere. And that is precisely why ALL dogs go to Heaven.

The greatest love story ever told

OK ... I'm definitely tired of talking about Sarah Palin, and I made a mental vow to myself that I wouldn't do it anymore.

But I couldn't stay silent about Kathleen Parker's op-ed piece in the Washington Post.

I think I'll just let her explain.

"McCain had met Palin only once -- in February, at the governors' convention in Washington -- before the day he selected her as his running mate. The second time was at his Sedona, Ariz., ranch on Aug. 28, just four days before the GOP convention.

As [writer Robert] Draper tells it, McCain took Palin to his favorite coffee-drinking spot down by a creek and a sycamore tree. They talked for more than an hour, and, as Napoleon whispered to Josephine, 'Voilà.'"

Yup. That's how Parker brings reason to McCain's unusual VP pick. Palin is beautiful; McCain was smitten. The end.

I'm well aware that Palin is an (ahem) unconventional choice for McCain's running mate, but I'm just not ready to believe that her appearance was the driving force behind that choice.

Oh, but Kathleen isn't done yet.

"McCain the mortal couldn't mind having an attractive woman all but singing arias to his greatness. Cameras frequently capture McCain beaming like a gold-starred schoolboy while Palin tells crowds that he is 'exactly the kind of man I want as commander in chief. . . .'

Had Antony not fallen for Cleopatra, Octavian might not have captured the Roman Empire. Had Bill resisted Monica, Al Gore may have become president, and Hillary might be today's Democratic nominee."

Hear that, ladies? With a flutter of your eyelashes and a wiggle of your hips, you, too, can be vice president. No brains necessary.

And that, my friends, is a little something called sexism. But where are the feminists when you need them? Probably on a street corner somewhere holding "Abort Palin" signs.

Sarah Night Live

As I prepare myself for Sarah Palin's guest spot on Saturday Night Live in t-minus 30 minutes, I can't help but wonder what the papers will say tomorrow.

Will the headline be "Palin plays herself, to comedic effect" or "Palin really is a joke"?

Props to Sarah for willingly walking into a studio filled with clever liberal comedians who just don't seem to like her very much.

Why, Sarah, why?

"But you know, I just want to be there to show Americans that we will rise above the political shots that we take because we're in this serious business for serious challenges that are facing the good American people right now."

Hmm ... not really the message I get when politicians make fun of themselves. But an equally important message is conveyed: Politicians actually can have a sense of humor. An important message, indeed.

Good luck, Sarah. Don't let them smell your fear.

Many pro-lifers calling a cease-fire

Pro-life voters are turning away from the GOP as the election approaches.

And it makes perfect sense.

Before I say anything else, let me just say this: I'm pro-choice -- I just happen to believe that abortion is always the wrong choice, and I wish that women wouldn't choose it.

I will never be convinced that abortion is an acceptable solution to an unwelcome pregnancy (and some personal experience has helped to strengthen this opinion), but I don't think that the government should be able to take away a woman's right to choose. And even if I did think it was the government's place, I don't think Roe v. Wade will ever be overturned ... no matter who is in the White House.

And I'm not the only one who's come to that conclusion.

Slate Magazine has uncovered a change among pro-lifers: They're not voting based on abortion anymore.

Marlene Turnbach is a pro-life Democrat who voted for George W. Bush twice because of his views on abortion. She said, "Bush won because all my friends who are Democrats voted for him and put abortion over everything else."

Barack Obama is ahead of John McCain in polls of Catholic voters, and six in 10 of Catholics are pro-life. What changed?

"It isn't that Turnbach's stand on abortion has shifted any, she says. But her view of the Republican Party's commitment to seeing Roe overturned has: 'Even if McCain does get in, he's not going to do anything' that would lead to a reversal of Roe. The legality of abortion 'is not going to change,' she's concluded, 'and I really don't think it should be an issue' in this presidential race."

I'm inclined to agree. I understand feeling strongly about an issue, and I do feel strongly about this one, but why base your vote on a single issue when that issue is unlikely to change under any circumstances?

The real issue in this election is the economy ... and on that, I think McCain might be in trouble.

"10 Ways to Please Your Man" isn't in here, either

Newsweek, how DARE you run an un-airbrushed photo of Sarah Palin on the cover of your magazine?!

I know your name has the word "News" in it and that it's the cardinal sin of photojournalism to alter images, but that picture is "mortifying." Not just unflattering ... MORTIFYING.

You can see some stray eyebrow hairs and ... gasp! ... PORES!!! No one can know she's human!!

Ok ... what you just witnessed was biting sarcasm. Unfortunately, the people in this clip from FOX News weren't being sarcastic because they were too busy being complete idiots.

I have my concerns about Palin (not as many as most people, but some), and I have conservative leanings, but I sensed nothing unfair about the way this photo was treated. She looks a lot better than I would that close up, and she's twice my age.

I hesitate to express my political opinion because I inevitably get lumped in with people like this who try to find liberal bias and controversy in the stupidest places. So on behalf of reasonable conservatives everywhere ... stop barking like overeager beagles at every whiff of unfairness and talk about the REAL news! I'm begging you.

P.S. Democrats, the same goes for you when it comes to sniffing out racism toward Obama. It's not as prevalent as you think, so put your tails down.

It's the end of the world ... let's talk about kittens

The economy sucks, and the presidential candidates are attacking each other.

But I refuse to talk about that. I am going into my little bubble of happiness, full of fuzzy things and happy times, and The New York Times is going with me.

The Fashion & Style section broke a big story on Oct. 3. Get this, people: A lot of men actually like cats.

I know, it blew my mind, too. But it's The Times ... they know everything.

"[Adam] Fulrath is one of a growing number of single — and yes, heterosexual — men who seem to be coming out of the cat closet and unabashedly embracing their feline side. ...

"Indeed, it seems that man’s best friend is no longer a golden retriever, but a cuddly cat named Fluffy."

They even have a Web site: menandcats.com.

Oh, New York Times, thanks for reminding us that stereotypes are sometimes ridiculous.

Now we just need a story about crazy spinster dog ladies.

Not quite a victory, but no blood on the stage

The biggest story of the day is that Sarah Palin didn't crash and burn last night as everyone was so sure she would.

I mean, come on guys ... she's been stuck in the world's most intense study session for the past week. Of course she didn't choke, but ...

She was extremely repetitive and sometimes failed to answer the question that was posed, almost as if McCain had told her, "Now, Sarah, make sure you mention this and this and that at some point in the debate. Make me proud, my little barracuda!"

Despite her shortcomings, Palin held her own with Sen. Joe Biden (except for that part when she called him Sen. Obiden ... the Obama/Biden hybrid, perhaps? Oh, and the numerous times that she pronounced "nuclear" wrong). All in all, I was proud of Palin, and I gained respect for her when she admitted that she and McCain don't always agree on everything. Who wants a vice president who's nothing but a yes woman? The VP should act as a natural balance to the president's power ... the voice of reason, a second opinion.

I was pleasantly surprised at how friendly the debaters were toward each other, often smiling good-naturedly as the other kindly pointed out past and present faults.

But probably the most enjoyable part of the debate was the stark contrast between Biden and Palin. He has all the makings of a politician: strong voice, strong stance, distinctive white hair. Palin reminds me of a kids movie: hockey mom goes to Washington.

The Los Angeles Times noticed it, too:

"Palin's novelty was on full display: Rarely are debates at this level peppered, as Thursday's was, with references to Saturday soccer games and casual phrasings like 'I'll betcha,' 'darn right' and 'doggone it.' She winked repeatedly, and often uttered remarks in a sing-song lilt more often heard in a children's classroom than on the national stage."

Is this a bad thing? That remains to be seen, but it's certainly not something we're used to seeing behind a podium. There's a word for that ... oh yes, change.

Mourning the loss of the new old blue-eyes

Paul Newman is my hero.

In Hollywood, humility and selflessness are neither common nor particularly valued. This man was perhaps the most beautiful actor I have ever seen, and his humility made him devestatingly handsome.

He was talented and successful not only in acting, but in the food industry, but he "never stopped believing he was a regular guy who'd simply been blessed, and well beyond what was fair. So he just kept on paying it forward."

In one of the many obituaries and tributes written following Newman's death, Slate writer Dahlia Lithwick beautifully explained why his death is such a loss for all of us.

Newman was a regular visitor to The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp, one of the many camps he founded for children with terminal illnesses. The kids didn't know he was famous, they just thought he was "this friendly old guy who kept showing up at camp to take them fishing."

Lithwick writes:

"It took me years to understand why Newman loved being at the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. It was for precisely the same reason these kids did. When the campers showed up, they became regular kids, despite the catheters and wheelchairs and prosthetic legs. And when Newman showed up, he was a regular guy with blue eyes, despite the Oscar and the racecars and the burgeoning marinara empire.

The most striking thing about Paul Newman was that a man who could have blasted through his life demanding 'Have you any idea who I am?' invariably wanted to hang out with folks—often little ones—who neither knew nor cared."

He was married to Joanne Woodward, just a regular non-Hollywood American, for 50 years and "always looked at her like something he'd pulled out of a Christmas stocking."

As the significant other of an actor myself, Newman's relationship inspires me to hope that a Hollywood marriage can be not only healthy and successful, but just like a fairy tale.

As a citizen of this seemingly godforsaken country, he inspires me to hope that people can be good, even given the corrupting influence of show business.